A NEW TAKE ON SELF-DEVELOPMENT
I used to believe that self-development was hard work. I believed that it was my job to “get to work on myself.” It was as though there was either something broken in me, or at the very least, something that needed to be improved. Regardless of the cause, it was my responsibility to tinker. To get in there + make some meaningful improvements.
And so I went about the hard work of self-development. This is how I spent many, many years of my adult life; and of course there’s a certain value to it as well. It puts you on a linear trajectory - one that you can almost chart or plot. It’s as if you’re carefully building something: taking these little intentional steps, one after another.
And while I do believe that there is some value to this, I don’t believe it to be very efficient. I don’t believe that we can get very far if we remain attached to the limited perspective of that more linear trajectory.
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What I have found more recently is that true self-development is something happening far beneath the skin; it’s an event that happens for you, outside of your conscious awareness; and it’s something that, if allowed to, will surprise you time + time again.
From this place, self-development becomes a matter of simply-witnessing: of sitting back in complete amazement as what happens happens naturally - in its own way - with a timing all its own. It’s wonderful + it’s awesome; it’s intriguing.
You lose your bearings + ambitions; you exchange them for the marvel of surprise.
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And so life becomes this great evolving mystery. It’s a dark space (it’s the Void; the ancient wilderness of Not-Knowing), but: it’s an adventure, it’s your mythos, and you get to be surprised along the way.
So what is it that surprises you the most? In fact, it’s you - your own capacity. It’s the marvel of relentless evolution. You’re surprised each time by how much you have grown to meet your life.
What you’re witnessing is the ongoing development of your character in the epic of your own unfolding life.
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At some point along the way, the carefully charted trajectory surrenders to a parabolic curve + you grow up into the nature of your role - your truest destiny.
You relax into the Story being told instead of struggling to plot a path yourself. You release your careful plans + when you do, you’re swept away.
You come to find that there’s a Story in your bones + in your blood. You let life move you, you are moved.