THE GREATEST LESSON
On February 22 of this year, I married my best friend, my real-life soulmate, my bright other-half. I’m grinning as I type these words, because not long ago I’d have disqualified them from my lexicon completely. As an adult, I have been critical of marriage. It seemed that everywhere I looked, the best of what was possible between two souls was being fully overwhelmed by a cacophony of social obligation + performance, and I knew that the “real thing” could never stand a chance beneath all that.
So I resigned myself to thinking that I’d need to carve my own way once again: in the opposite direction of a “married life.” But this was a reaction to the worst of what I’d noticed in the world. I spent a long time in rebellion against that. But I have learned that nothing we find beautiful in life need ever be disqualified from ours. In fact, our best ideas are the very ones we ought to cultivate with greatest care.
So Life sent me a Lara, like a storm of proof that fairytales exist. And the rain of her existence opened up the jaded soil of views. And the sunlight of her presence brought new life. She reminded me of magic every day (and hasn’t quit). She has helped me to remember my true self.
CONTINUED…
As a boy, I was helplessly romantic. I believed in all of it. My own parents were real-life examples of it, too. And so of course I wanted to be married, to share every detail of a whole entire life with one important other, to grow old alongside someone I enjoyed. As a younger human, none of that seemed out of reach at all.
It’s funny how we lose that sense of easy wonder as adults. And it’s a grace-beyond-expression that allows us to reclaim it if we dare. The miracle of being found by Lara reawakened me to this. She taught me a lesson I’ve repeated many many times in recent months:
We get to have it all. And this is not impractical: it’s true. We were married, barefoot - on our favorite day, in our own home.
We get to have it all - and this is what we wish for all of you.