A SURRENDER STORY, PART 2/2
CONTEXT
This post is a continuation of my personal-professional story: a story that I began to share for the very first time yesterday morning. I hope that you’re able to benefit in some way from witnessing it.
The possibilities in this life so far exceed our limited awareness (and even our wildest imaginations!). Here’s a little bit of proof from the ground of my own experience.
Enjoy!
RUNNING A NEW EXPERIMENT
My new experiment was simple. I would locate the source of effortless power that I knew resided within me, and I would practice not-forcing my way through life. I would wipe the slate clean + start fresh.
I quickly realized that this was going to be much more challenging than I had initially supposed. 90 days passed. I had nothing. 6 months. Still nothing. 9 months. Barely a glimmer.
In previous years, I had been a voracious list-maker. I was known as the King of Follow-Up. I let all of that go. I stopped making lists. I re-crafted my definition of productivity.
I felt lazy + listless in comparison to previous years. I fought constant battles with the voice in my own head: a voice that told me I was failing, that told me I was worthless.
I kept going anyway. My experiment was to 1) Surrender, and then 2) Pay Attention. And I ran that experiment like a true scientist.
I learned to observe myself in new ways. I began to see my “strategies” in a whole new light.
WHOLESYSTEM HUMAN
After about 9 months of this, I had my first truly original breakthrough. It was a major shift in my experience + opened my awareness to the possibility of what would eventually become WholeSystem Human.
It was another 6-7 months before I would “get to work” on developing this concept. When the time came, I built the website. I wrote the content.
I began to form this image of myself as “prolific.” But I had no idea how I would achieve this image without a strategy.
CONTINUED…
How would I create “enough” content without a content strategy? How would I define my demographic, access + convert leads, produce marketing materials, develop products, drive sales?
I didn’t have answers to these questions. But I did know that MY answer would be different from any I had previously known.
I remained firm in my conviction: no strategies or agendas; only the effortless flow of authentic self-expression.
My days were a regulatory process: a process of watching + refining the activity of my own mind.
If something emerged from me as a joyful expression of self, I used it.
If something felt forced or frustrated in any way, I scrapped it.
If something was created for the fun of it, I held onto it.
If created in hopes of recognition, though? Trash.
TESTING VALUE
There were a lot of false starts as I tested different avenues. I planned out an Audio Training Series + got to Chapter 1 of 5 before realizing that it wasn’t for me.
I launched an “Inspiration Journal” called the KAIZEN Chronicles, which made sense until it became about attracting attention.
I hosted in-person Meet-Up groups. I joined + facilitated Facebook pages. I toyed with a few product options.
I crafted (and then discarded) concept after concept. I could feel when something was “off” now.
I could see how all of my previous strategies had been a means of chasing recognition.
I really wanted to be noticed. But most of all I wanted to be fulfilled.
Most of all, I wanted to show up authentically, as myself.
FAST-FORWARD TO NOW
A year-and-a-half later, I am still running the same Surrender Experiment. I am still regulating against the old ways of desperation + desire to be recognized. I am still inside the process.
But I have been successful in many more (and many more creative!) ways than I could ever have expected. I have been prolific - more prolific even than I initially imagined!
I have created products + services. I have been hosted on a whole slew of podcasts. I have worked with beautiful people from all around the world. I am paid to do what I love.
Quite simply: I never could have achieved the life that I am living right now by means of a strategy. My mind was just too small - my imagination too limited.
THE POSSIBILITIES
In order to access new possibilities, I had to relax into something greater than my ingenious little mind. I had to practice waiting. I had to give my Nature the time + space it needed to emerge.
The process has been more challenging than I anticipated. It took a hell of a lot longer than I expected. I racked up tons of debt.
But I am happier, more fulfilled, and more abundant right now than I have ever been before in my entire life.
My “work” is clean. It is 100% original in every case. It is authentic. It is my own. It generates itself.
I have more clarity, more time, and more influence than ever. And none of it is a struggle.
None of it costs or fatigues me. None of it is a pain.
NEW ‘STRATEGIES’
You see, I don’t “run a business” anymore. I just show up as myself, anywhere I go. I just show up as myself, prepared to pay attention + prepared to be surprised.
I just show up as myself + I enjoy the mystery of life as it unfolds. I honestly-sincerely-truly just enjoy my part in all of this. I enjoy my part in the symphony.
CONTINUED…
I believe that this is possible for you, too. Some special version of this is possible for every single one of us. But first, we must remember what it means to just-relax. First we must return to ourselves.
First we must Surrender, and then Watch to see what happens in response.